Where the hell is Mooch?
*Warning* The following rant is not a solicitation for "Awwws, poor yous or other sympathetic responses.It is merely a statement of fact with a helluva lot of opinion thrown in and a feeble version of excuses as to why your friend has been an arsewipe.
Hello Lovelies!
If you are reading this, then I probably love you, or at the very least, lust after you which is *bonus round* good, right?
Anyways, the Mooch household has been cursed these past six months ie: we are living in interesting times.
*cue time machine*
It’s November of last year, I get a call; my mom is having problems.
*cue time machine*
It’s late December, my mom’s TIA’s (look it up) are still occurring but the doc says she doesn’t have any major blockages to her heart (She has a heart ???) or brain, therefore they are keeping her on blood thinners and low cholesterol diet and telling her (fat chance that will change her alcoholic ways) not to drink. She has had all the tests in the world, and will recover. Am relieved, but really, her day to day is very good. (conversation my sis and Mom’s neurolgist had: “You do know when she says she was doing housework and gardening she actually climbed up on her roof, sprayed out her gutters, and painted her bathroom over?” Doc: “Not your typical day for a 72 year old woman?” Sis: “Exactly.”
*cue time machine*
Mr. Mooch is diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in November
*cue time machine*
It’s February of 2009, after being a very good boy for so many months, watching his diet like crazy, and dropping almost 30 pounds, I notice my husband is looking particularly yellow. Yellow skin, yellow eyeballs and surprisingly, he had gone that very day to see his GP for problems with all over rash/itching.
Doctors agreed that Mooch’s (Me) ideas that Mr. Mooch’s old GP (I’ll refer to him anal retentive asshole who was too obsessed with numbers or “Arawwtoo”) was giving this 52 year old man waaaaaaaay to many fucking pills and took him off all meds. He was later diagnosed with chronic hepatitis, brought on by chemical imbalance (PILLS!)
*cue time machine*
Mr. Mooch has changed his general physician, is a lot less yellow, doesn’t scratch all the time (it was bile build up in his body chemistry that brought on the itching then rash -stupid GP not to catch those TYPICAL symptoms of liver dis-function along with HELLO? HE’S FUCKING YELLOW!)
Now Mr. Moooch is a svelt 34 waist and Moochie is trying hard not to wear him out. Bad Karma: not so bad results.
End of year 2008:
My dear friend Bill lost his wonderful dad. ((((( Bill))))))
We lost damn near 50% of all of our retirement savings.
Mr. and Mrs. Mooch move up a very important joint decision: Mrs. Mooch (that being ME) will start working again, ahead of our original schedule which was July, 2013) since we gots no money to retire on and still have to put two boys through college.
I start full time job search in January of 2009
Full time job search over 11 weeks results in exactly...... One (1) (uno) job interview in which interviewer/ boss keeps saying Mooch is waaaay overqualified and won’t want to stay/ or will get bored and foolishly doesn’t choose her.
Mooch decides to chuck original resume and start from scratch and...... goes back to school. Yes, I’m taking classes daily to update my skills on such treasures as Microsoft Office 2007, the 78th sequel, that really isn’t nearly as good as the original, but is so heavily marketed (check out those lunchboxes and slim size MS office tampons!) and Quickbooks and other admin type stuff.
Goal: I hope to get a job that mostly pays decent (less than $20 an hour) and that I can leave behind, when I leave it behind, each day at five or six pm. Otherwise, I’m applying to In-N-Out where I will at least get a free decent cheeseburger each day and maybe a decent burial.
Add in there the whole progeny/sports/college preparation (yes, I will have college student in less than a year and half!) and it sums up our interesting times.
I have thought of you all. I have been guilty of pretty much complete silence, but hey, how depressing would those phone calls have been?
Anyway, I do miss my friends; I’m not doing badly, and I am enjoying the Poway Unified Adult Education Program (sounds like the “Scrapbooking for beginners!” program, doesn’t it?)
It will be a while until I surface again since the Govinator keeps raping our state’s future employees buy cutting education funding by over a BILLION dollars by the end of 2009. (Way to go Arnold! Your kids lives’ should suck something fierce and You Helped!) And I need to stay in the ROP program this Spring while it is still available, and free. Look for more activity in June.
Missing you all, really, really!
Mooch
PS, I did jury duty during all this shit, too. No lie, real trial and everything. Rains.Pours.Shits. On the good side; I know where to buy drugs in SD now. Google maps available on request.
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